So it seems Activision and Blizzard have merged.

They’re going to be called Blizzard Activision, imaginatively. This is a massive step for WoW players as it clearly means there will be more call of zombie included in World of Warcraft.

We can expect a future MMORPG in which realistic depicitions of WW2 battles are endlessly reenacted online via Blizzards massive client base.

What better way to honor history than constantly repeat it? 

Suprisingly it turns out shows on TV are fantasy and ‘exaggerte the truth’. one such show is Gonzos favourite, CSI.

Dr Sheila Willis of Ireland’s forensic science laboratory gave a lecture in Dublin at which she landed this bombshell on her audience: “…The shows wrongly suggested crimes could be cracked within the space of an episode…”

The idea that forensic pathologists dont have hats, wear sunglasses or throw pithy one liners before blowing up cars on beaches has totally thrown me. I envisaged lots of wise cracking nerds doing slow motion gunfights before solving crimes with IR torches. My life is now pointless and Gonzo has probably topped himself.

More of the bleeding obvious here. 

This article over at the BBC looks again at whether Hip Hop, rap and video games are to blame for gang violence.

I’m going to wade into difficult territory here, Quake Wars style, and see if I can put some reason up. I can only speak from the UK perspective, so thats what I’ll do.
As I understand it the current Games and guns argument goes: Games and music are violent, kids experiene these and get violent. Or, kids are predisposed to violence and games and music tip them over / encourage this.

First numbers, the number of people buying and listening to Hip Hop in this country is massive. Yeah, it’s heard in council estates and ghettos, but its also heard in middle class homes and the odd mansion. Hip Hop, as Nas would say, is dead in its truest form, that is expression music for those most disenfranchised, or a way out for that same crowd.

Games are equally widespread, literally hundreds of thousands of kids are playing Halo, Grand Theft Auto and Manhunt along with a healthy proportion of adults.

Of these, less than 1% will go on to commit violent crime. It’s true that if you look backwards and say ‘but 100% who have done crime have played games at some time’ its also the same if you ask how many of those people have drunk tap water. Quick ban the taps.

Next, demographics. I am going to make a racial point here, and as always the pc brigade will likely wet their environment friendly, dead cow hair, recyclable nappies. Fuck off, it’s time to stop reacting and start learning.

Of all the recent gun crime in the UK, the majority of perpetrators (not always the victims but still mostly) are from the black community. There is a reason Operation Trident was set up to deal specificlly with Black on Black gun crime in London: It is happening a lot.

Now lets look at Hip Hop and Games, is this music and entertainment restricted solely to this demographic? Hell no. Black people listen to Hip Hop, and white people listen to Elvis right? Wrong.

Eminem tapped into the market when he correctly identified that the vast majority of kids buying his (And HH other artists) stuff were white…And middle class. The same goes for games, go to any LAN cafe, cyber league, Game store, Computer Exchange, hell even the games section at hmv, go to the most violent games sections you can find and you will see a lot of white faces, in some cases and places mentioned above you will see only white faces.

Where is the operation trident for White on White gun crime fuelled by games and music? It doesnt exist.

Gun crime is not just a black problem, its being perpetrated by white, asian, chinese..fucking martian…whatever as well, but it’s over representative in the black community, why?

And if the Black community is not wholly involved with guns (It isnt by a long shot - ahem) and if the black community is a small proportion of the whole gaming and hip hop community, why does a minority within a minority dictate the rule for the whole?

In the UK a tiny number of individuals, predominantly within one community, are being examined as the test case for everyone, those people aren’t right, and neither is that method.

I’ve just spent a quality week and weekend gaming.

I’d forgotten how much fun it is just to sit in front of a PC or console for hours on end and get absoloutly absorbed into a decent game. Due to real life concerns it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance, and after having booked a weeks’ leave I decided to pwn it the best I could.

Do the gardening? Tax returns? Catching up on correspondance or going to dance class? All of these are for cissies (Except the last one, real men only) I just went straight ahead and started the marathon.
You know the marathon, that massive gaming binge supported by innumerous cans of soda and packets of Haribo.

There are several things I’ve identified from my 90+ hour gaming binge over the last week, I’d like to share these with you now:

The Gaming Hangover:

This is a real life thing. After many hours of staring at a screen and eventually slithering into bed, one often experiences the following symptoms for up to two days afterwards: Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, irratibility, bad complexion, poor concentration, sore thumbs or any combination of the above.

Elements of the gaming hangover which are rarer but I particularly love are psychological: Dreams filled with images from the game recently played, repeated sound effects of given game on loop in your head, reactive motor movements such as clicking or pointing in your sleep or tired state. Weight loss and gain have also been reported.

The Perfect Gaming Diet:

This is similar to what a sportsman or woman should eat and drink before a big competition. Of key importance in co-operative play is that both parties are equally alert, there’s nothing worse than having to call time on a gaming spree because one of you is tired. Pussies.

This means that a combination of factors is needed, the first and most important in the initial phase are slow release carbohydrates and fluids for the longer term. Newbs make two mistakes here, they either hit the sugars first or ‘go heavy’ i.e.pizza or some such. Bad idea.

Sugars are a temporary surge, much like troops in a combat zone, and provide a brief boost of energy and alertness, dont use these yet. Nor should the acolyte gamer go straight for the heavies either, a combination of lighter carby snacks is preffered, this usually involves, breads, crisps, chips and the like. Try where possible to get plainer tasting ones, and avod strong flavours or odours, mostly because its less divisive sitting on a couch with a guy who smells like rock salt than one who smells like mature chedder and onion.

In phase two, usually three hours in or so, you should look to include some ‘tasteables’ these are snacks of amore exotic variety like cooked prawns, garlic bread with cheese, chicken wings etc.They should be light but numerous and importantly should be hot. If you go for chips (US fries) make sure to go skinny cut and share the bowl. Don’t let any food sit.

After about six to seven hours you should look to get in something heavier but equally spread out, I think here of small supermarket style burgers or the like. Again three to four each, depending on the size of the gamer (We mostly come in two classes elf (Anaeorexic) or Barbarian (Gargantuan)).

Ten to twelve hours in and you’ll be needing the power foods, here’s where your sugars come in. Pepsi, Coke, Dr.Pepper and anything stuffed with additives and E numbers that leaves grit on your teeth should be consumed. If you really need the burn go in hard and fast, a full pack mof Haribo tangfangtastic each or a whole bag of Jelly Babies. Chocolate can be used here too, again no bars smaller than 250g allowed.

If you’re a real athlete and have entered into the 15+ hours stage you’ll need professional suplements. Here I’m thinking pimp juice, red bull, caffeine pills, espresso and the like. When your bodies about to die round it off with a massive intake of syrup or sauce on ice cream and prepare to crash.

So here’s the thing.

Somedays I look around the public transport netowkr as I rumble towards my office and actually see the people around me.

Sometimes I can’t help but hear them too.

Perhaps in my mid twenties way, I’m starting my inevitable shift toward the conservatism of old age, but in all honesty this city is fucked.

And if this city produces 20% of the GDP of the UK (After expenses of course..) then to be honest, the country is pretty fucked too.

I’m not referring to the transport system, which actually works ok for me, a light railway, a tube and a railway every morning and it’s always on time(ish) , I always get a seat and things are relatively nice.

Nor am I referring to the pollution or the noise, or any other pretend environmental problem, like global warming (If it’s getting hotter why is it raining all the time eh? EH?)

No I am referring to chavs. And the evolution of the chav.

It used to be that a chav was a fairly easy one to spot, they come in a variety of flavors depending on age. The young chav is about 6 or seven onwards and is allowed by his or her mother to roam freely throughout the day (The father is drunk or absent). They routinely shout, spit and swear and do socially obnoxious crap like try ringtones on the train or start conversations with “Oi! How much did that cost?” nodding at your shirt/phone/shoes whatever.

When they get older, lets say ten onwards, they are usually at the age to start fighting with one another and stealing or raping. You’d be suicidally sad at the number of kids that are being stabbed and shot in London these days, these kids differ very little fomr the younger chavs only they’re a little more dangerous, unimpeeded by the threat of the law or punishment (They know nothing, but they know the law regarding prosecutions and time served very well). I wouldnt’ care if it were a problem amongst their own group, i.e. they just stabbed and killed one another or raped their own chav hareem but it doesnt happen. They routinely ‘break into’ other peoples social and personal bubble and the average traveller is too worried aobut backlash/prosecution/stabbing to intervene on anyone else’s behalf. These kids have run feral and are well aware that society will punish them as much as their probably welfare supported parents, none.

Then we move into the most dangerous phase. The twelve’s to twenty five year old chavs. Boys and girls.

These fuckers like nothing more than to make their petty little lives everyone’s business and fill their empty days with drama on the personal level. They couldnt give a stuff about the world, learning or politics etc. Or even human decency or social manners. Their personality is pretty much set and all that remains is to add some teenage angst and let them take it out on the world. They hiss, kiss their teeth, talk about ‘respect’ and fight, stab, swear and steal at every opportunity. Greed and social decentralisation gone wild. The true beasts of men.

The women are no better, they drink as the men do, wear hideous clothes, scream and shout and talk about being ‘proper brewin” or various other terms for stressed out at having been impregnated by their latest ten year old ‘fella’. Girl on girl fighting is a serious problem and girl on boy fighting is not rare. Again the sad routine of stabbing and shooting also comes into play, only as a law abiding member of the public you’re likely to be caught up in their shit, or even the target of it. The litany of decent, well meaning, educated, twenty something professionals that have been killed or injured because of these bastards is too sad to recount. I think only of the case of Tom Ap Rhys Price, the young lawyer who was stabbed and killed for a mobile and an oyster card. He fought them off, tried to reach his fiancee’s house and was killed in the process. His last words to his attackers were:

“That’s it, you’ve got everything”

At which point they stabbed him again before he could get home and die with his girlfriend.

The dangerous new species, the evolution I spoke of, is something thats just beginning. I’m seeing it now, more so as I age and I think I know why.

The chavs that have survived and had babies (As they always do) have gotten older, they’ve also infected others, like some social virus.

I watched a middle aged woman, well dressed and otherwise presentable shout into her mobile this afternoon. I’m going to make a racial point here to which the PC brigade will tie me up, but the PC brigade got us into this so fuck them.

This lady was asian. She was probably twenty something if not thirty.

However, dressed, traditionally as she was, she was using words like ‘bredrin’ ‘brewin’ ‘proper’ and ‘respect’ with a hideously fake accent.

I know I’m one to talk aoubt accents, but see me through on this one.

Earlier on I had seen an essex chav, builder type, escape through the barricades without paying at the tube station. He’d run foprm the guard shouting “Safe blood!” and legged it up the escalator. He was white, at least thirty two and probably a builder.

Female asian, twentysomething, middle aged white male. Linkage? Language.

I routinely see African kids, Somalians, Nigerians etc who also adopt the same lexicon. I’ve seen Somali men talking the same way.

Increasingly the white male chav, who’s language bastion was once estuary english, now uses a lexicon most similar to Jamaican patois, in a mixed estuary/Jafaiakan accent.

Every singole one of these different types of chav all use the same accent and vocab. It’s a soft fake jamaican sound added to an east end barrow boy style of pronounciation. The words came form the yardies and some of the accent from the essex chavs. It’s evolved.

More scary than the evolution is the contagion. I see business men using these phrases, guys getting on at posh stops, wearing good suits “Easy geeza” the working class staple has become “Safe bredrin, w’appen?”

Watching these feral kids and some wild adults all copying words fomr other cultures and butvhering the english language I get quite sad.

The BBC recently reported it had severe problems recuirting child actors and actresses to play ‘proper’ parts in period dramas because nobody had the required level of english skill.

On top of this a recent employers survey found that most school and college graduates needed additional communications training when they entered work, school leavers in particular, as they simply cvouldnt hold a conversation with superiors or counterparts.

Scotland, Ireland and Wales all have their share of chavs (Called Neds, Scallys and other such names) but they also retain an identity. This, I think, is because of accent.

However I literally want to cry sometimes when I hear the standard of english spoken in the average school yard or on the trip home. Vulgarity, poor grammar, badly imported words, lots of filler…All these things are staples of todays modern english.

I’m not sure why but I feel like England, London in particular, is dying.

Self serving, arrogant, ill educated, bad mouthed, wild scum are the order of the day. And they just seem to multiply. The problem is as they become the new entrants into the workplace, new cashiers at Maccy D’s and other such jobs their english becomes compulsory for the rest of us.

In order to interact with these people I have to use their language. There are problably innumerable courses on ‘workplace communication’ and some pretty retarded leaflets for teachers and others on ‘talking to kids’ but seriously this is not good. And whats worse is as todays generation of chavs becomes tomorrows middle aged ‘do any job’ types their hideous ways go with them and infect all associated markets, advertising and other such things.

People say we live in a classless society, but if so it wont be for much longer.

Those of us that can speak the language and act responsibly can only support the creaking system for so long. Then its time to dump the dead wood.

Die chavs die.

Well we finally did it.

The BBFC banned a video game for the first time in ten years. We have finally succumbed to that most retarded of democratic ideals, that the average citizen is not able to choose what is right or wrong for themselves and to be trusted not to act irrationally or illegaly as a result.

Freedom of choice, not freedom of action was always my dictum when it came to video games. The only, single, one murder that was allegedly attributed to the original Manhunt by a disturbed 17 year old boy has lead to the banning of the game from UK shelves.

I wont go into the purile and empty comparison that cigarettes directly contribute to the deaths of thousands of people per year but are still widely available. I shan’t of course wander into the minefield of knife and firearm ownership either.

It appears that we, as a nation, are unable to decide what we are allowed to watch, listen to or play because we cannot be trusted with our actions as a result.

This case is probably true for children. Kids are suseptible to ideas and other fantasies that make plausible realities. But lets examine the case evidence shall we? There is a single case where this game was a factor in a single crime. Great as that crime was, does a single crime allow regulation against the masses?

Let me give a different example.

A man gets a copy of the Bible from a hotel, its free of course. He reads in this widely available and totally uncontrolled document that he should stone sodomites and kill adulterers. So off he pops and beats a gay man to death. But the Bible, is a religious book and his actions are out of context, so his crime is insanity or malice as he has not been lead, influenced or anything else.

People will always be influenced by things. Games, music, art, whatever. What people do after these influences is their choice. Those suseptible to undue degrees of influence (Children, the mentally ill, etc.) should of course have their access controlled until they are of a balanced state of mind in order to know socities norms and make moral judgements. But thats what the rating system is for on games, movies and everything else.

Stop blaming the source and start blaming the individual. If we had hundreds of incidents inspired by one game we’d have a problem. We don’t. We have a single incident. Of course the practicioners of fear politik will say “But what if we get more? It could be worse…”

I am sick to death of people trying to blame socities ills on ideas. It starts with videogames and rap music and ends with burning books by philosophers who dont fit ‘the social norm’. WAKE UP PEOPLE.

Parents, be parents. Control your childs access to porn, violent films, video games and everything else of an unsavoury nature. Take an active part in knowing what your kid does and is involved in. Wake the fuck up. The middle class liberals are as much to blame as the disinterested council estate chavs. The first group nanny their children into a state of individualism that bears on narcassicim and the second couldn’t give a toss where little jonny is and how much glue hes smoked that afternoon.

Video Games do not cause violence. People cause violence. Whereas that argument does not hold for guns and knives (They are the actioning instruments of violence) I have yet to hear of anyone literally beaten to death by a video game.

Ideas cause violence. Prejudice, misinformation, misunderstanding, ignorance, stupidity and basic retardation are all causes of violence.

STOP BLAMING THE FUCKING IDEAS AND START BLAMING THE PEOPLE.

Even then, even then…This game does not ask players to go out and murder (Ahem…Religion) nope, instead it simply portrays murder and bloodshed by an avatar onscreen. Is this happy and fun? Nope. Is it horrifying and fun? Yes. Does it incite murder? No. Does it tutor murder? No.

This plus God versus Sony recently is starting to get me depressed about the state in which we live when it comes to Games.

If your child is allowed to play brutal and violent games rated for and only supplied to adults, then the guardians are to blame. Or, shock horror, even the child. I dont expect kids not to violate age restriction rules, I did it constantly, I have of course yet to kill anyone but articles like this draw me closer.

To the nanny legal system and the bleeding heart liberals and those who cant for one moment defend the thing other than ‘ban the source’ I scream a big healthy fuck you.

I’m going to buy this game, copy it and sell it outside Game stores in the UK. I’m going to run LAN parties and console nights in with this title. I’m going to advertise group events and childcare day centres with this game on the recreation list. You know why?

Because you idiots finally blew it up, thats why.

According to this article on the BBC, the Very Reverend of Manchester Cathedral is ocnsidering suing Sony for using the citys cathederal in Resistance: Fall of man. Quote:

 ”We are shocked to see a place of learning, prayer and heritage being presented to the youth market as a location where guns can be fired…”

Whilst I’m all for Sony gettig even more of a mauling I have my reservations when it comes to this stuff. Anyone who’s read my 28 Weeks later review will know I have a big jones for entertainment that uses local buildings and locations I recognise for action.
This smells too much like ‘Video games are evil’ to me and the above quote just tops it off. Coming from (very) reverend people who don’t play games, believe all the pseudo science around games (They make you violent, socially introverted and a child rapist) and decide that the best way to champion Christianity is to sue games manufacturers.

Again, I’m not defending Sony, hate the bastards, but the Church looks even more fuddy duddy for this crap. How about trying to get an apology for the quiessence to slavery? Something on the torture and abuse of people in the middle ages? The constant stream of sexual scandals involving choir boys? Perhaps addressing the fact that the worlds most dire violent threat is in part caused by the errant perception of Christianity leading to violent reactionism? No? No?

Oh ok we’ll sue videogames instead.

Idiots (That remark includes Sony). 

Being as the nazi fucks wonderful gentlemen [ed] who run this place removed my, massive, badly imported videos, for the ridiculously beurucratic reason that they broke the website, I have to resort to other articles.

Therefore it is with some measure of pride and a hint of prejudice I am going to review the Xcellently titled (See what I did there), X-Men II: Rise of Apocalypse for the PSP.

The game itself has been out for some time and is available on most formats and consoles. It recently migrated over to PSP and is really a fantastic game for the handheld system. For those unfamiliar with the game or plot, it involves the straight-laced, gay rights X-Men and the nasty, axis of evil, brotherhood working together to defeat Apocalypse, who is some form of super mutant bent on the destruction of earth because his head is so small in relation to his body.

The game is best described as a party-based RPG, giving you access to a diverse selection of marvel x-men heroes, of whom, you play four at a time. But XML2 has a few tricks up it’s tightly fitting sleeve to mark it out from the crowd. As well as your basic stats and skills upgrades, you get the chance to add abilities and other fun stuff to your mutant warriors.
Customising costumes, equipment and even allowing some input to the AI behaviour, for those characters you’re not playing, is really useful.

The combat is real-time and great fun. You beat, smash and super power your way through enemies. Burning them, turning them to ice, levitating them and hitting them with psychic energy all at once. In the later levels when your chaps/chapettes are really ridiculously strong the sheer mayhem on-screen is a joy to participate in.

The game doesnt suffer from the normal limitations of early characters being pants, or unlevelled characters you dont use. The computer kindly keeps all unused characters roughly the same level as your core party, allowing you to drop in other mutants and heroes as you require their unique abilities.

The game is tough enough and long enough that you feel really like you’re playing an adventure and for those who are only quasi-familiar with X-Men (Me, for example who knew Colossus and Scarlet Witch had a thing?) it’s accessible and fun to play. That last line probably sums up whats best. It’s got all the depth you could want (Skill games, trivia quizes for extra xp, character adjustment and skill trees) whilst being simple, fun and accessible. Don’t want to mess around levelling characters? Fine the computer will do it for you. Don’t want to care about equipment and stuff? Again no worries, let the AI auto-distribute, which it does averagely well. Of course if you’re hardcore and want that extra +1 speed or to juice out that +2% to all resistances, you’re going to want to handle these things yourself.

The graphics on the PSP are fantastic, looking much like a lesser antialiased version of the original console version, it’s very nice to look at with good particle and lighting effects around. The cell shaded style of the characters works well on the handheld and the third person camera angle is a good overhead save for the PSP’s processor. The only criticism on graphics would be that the areas can be very dark in some levels meaning you’ll occasionally miss things or walk past objectives. The minimap is worth its weight in gold here, but still on a handheld perhaps tuning the brightness and contrast for the mobile market would have been better (I once jumped Magneto into a giant black hole I should have seen from a mile off. Sadly I had chosen not to give him +1 flight=goodbye Magneto.). That’s not to say the game isnt perfect in dark conditions, but with reflection it can be a pain to see on occasion.

The audio is very well produced with scores similar to the X-Men and Spiderman movies. Large ochesteral movements accompany the heroes into batle and creepy, lesser tracks help them wander round science labs and jungles. The character voices are extensive and well acted. Each character has samples, speech and things to say all well acted and without any annoying pauses or random lapses in conversation (Silent Hill, stop using people with downs syndrome to do the voices…). All in all the audio is top notch.

Control is fairly easy, the thumbstick is intuitive and simple to employ, holding down the right paddle results in mutant powers being ready to use, wheras default controls mean the buttons punch kick and jump etc. Very easy to grasp. It’s a little more fiddly to use the health and power potions mid-combat or to switch x-men but easily learnable after a few levels. There are never any truly frustrating control moments.

The gameplay is a joy. Smashing the living crap out of a host of baddies and searching through the levels is never a grind as the game has lots of variety and unlockables. Plenty of secret charcters to get hold of, secrets to expose and the odd bonus round and X-mansion training sweet all add to the variety and let you do a few side things if you get distracted. The game is never too hard or annoyingly easy, but it can be a pain in the ass to run across a level and then have to go all the way back when you’ve found the key or femidom or whatever. Still, an average RPG gripe which is not life threatening. But by far the best feature in gameplay is found by combining x-powers to create super combos (For which you get an XP bonus) it’s great. Example? I use Magneto to float a guard towards Colloses who upercuts him into a wall and then Nighcrawler teleports in, grabs his limp body and teleports him over a drop, lets him go and teleports back. All rewarded with a nice thunderous, announcer ‘COMBO’. Cool.
Gameplay has some issues, notably around the AI. They’re ok at not getting in the way, they can be slow to come to your aid and, very rarely mind, they get lost and die. The only real gripe with teamplasy I have is that the AI never perform combos of their own volition. Literally never. If you’re playing one character the others never do something together whilst your otherwise engaged. They’ll fight other enemies sure, but annoyingly you have to set up all the combos. Still, if they did you’d get all that extra XP for no reason I guess.

The final word on the game is multiplayer. You can co-op the story mode with a link to link between PSPs via wifi or you can..And this is the best…Connect to the net via your wireless network and play with up to four friends online via the inbuilt (Non subscription) Gamespy service. Brilliant fun. The co-op is where this game’s really at and if you’ve got a friend with a favourite X man and you do too, there is no excuse not to link it up and get it on. COMBO!

All in all, if you like games, comics, breathing, sex or chocolate you should get this game. Its well devloped for the PSP, and barring a few slow load times it’s absoloutly a great conversion and a reason to buy the handheld. Considering you can now pick this up pre-owned for £12.99 (Thanks Game, I’ll have your babies) there’s no excuse. As Professor X (Voiced by Jean Luc Picard) would say in his alternate identity:

‘Make it so’.

Once more unto the breach of reviewing films I shall tread, because there’s nobody here so it matters not if my efforts are well received.

28 Weeks later is a worthy sequal to the popular and small budget 28 days later. A zombie / survival horror flick it’s hard to imagine how they’d push a sequal further than the complete annihilation of the UK and it’s population which occured in number one.
The plot centres around a survivor of the first outbreak, living in the NATO established quarantine zone in Canary Wharf, London. Similar to Land of the Dead, Canary Wharf and it’s environs are the ‘green tower’ or militarised sanctuary against the outside.

However, the infected have long since starved to death and the military are ‘clearing out’ the suburbs of London before returning more refugees en masse. This could be where the film goes wrong, focussing on the military and its role in fighting zombies, but it doesnt do an Aliens. Instead the plot remains focussed on the reunion of the family and the key characters.

I dont want to give too much away but you’ll know from the trailers that Robert Carlyle (Star of trainspotting) is our lead man, he also turns into our lead zombie fairly sharpish and runs amok inside the ‘green zone’. The ensuing carnage amongst military and civilian population is good to watch and the ’scorched earth’ policy of the US general in charge is also a painul reminder that outbreak’s really can be handled by just culling the civilian population.

I love this movie for several reasons, some of which are like the first. I’m a fan of the horror genre, and this is the type done to its best. Some critics have accused the film of lacking direction, not knowing whether its a mass zombie killing spree (Flying a helicopter into a field of the undead was pretty heavy) or Blair Witch style survival horror (Navigating the London underground using a single night vision scope). For my part I’d say it was neither too much of one or the other. The movie retained a good balance of ’shlok horror’ and believable tension throughout.

Certainly the opening and later scenes were good stuff. Watching a helpless victim tied to a gurney having their throat ripped out and their eyes pushed in (A homage to the finale of the first film) were seriously horrific, in that close camera, all spit and bile, non beautified London film making style.

The movie doesn’t go for effects over quality, with the zombies being the most outlandish of effects other than the napalm. The use of sound and music is very well balanced and I was pleased that my favourite guitar piece theme made it back from the first film. Even the pregnant pauses are used well, with the ‘jump’ cycle being exploited by the filmmakers to the full, including messing with the the ‘third times the charm’ approach.

The film does have its downsides, probably casting, being the biggest groan. The two lead children are fairly annoying but remain fairly unpretentious throughout, with the girl being marginally more annoying than the boy. She looks like an advert for heroin sheek in topshop most of the time, which doesnt help but she’s a believable enough heroine. Robert Carlyle is a star, really bringing life to the undead. His zombie manages to stand out despite having no dialogue and being amongst hundreds of others. It goes to show that movement and body language are still worth a lot when it comes to acting.

Further moans on casting however include the male and female adult ‘hero’ leads. These two US Forces personel are pretty much non entities, she’s the smart capable doctor type who’s identified a cure for the rage virus and he’s a sniper with a conscience. Pretty 2d as far as characterisation goes, but watchable nonetheless.
There are other holes too, notably in the plot. The initial outbreak occurs because the military sheppard everyone into some kind of carpark and then fail to guard the fire exit. This seems a little lame, its kind of excused in that Robert Carlyle is able to move about the compound freely, but then how does he use his pass and pin when he cant even remember to stand upright?

The film has a few light moments, which act as good relief to the unrelenting horror and tension of the duration. I didn’t find myself fidgeting at all and never worried about the pacing too much. Additionally it made a few points without having to labor the issue or be overly political. Watching US Marines patroling Londons streets and shepparding the residents was somewhat uncomfortable, despite being a benign occupation. A subtle point well made.

I should also explain my positive bias on this before summarising. The movie is set very near to my residence, in an area I know well. Seeing your own neighbourhood destroyed onscreen and overrun with zombies is fantastic and adds to the personal realism of the scene. The fact that you can see my house in one scene is really cool. Indeed a friend of mine worked in the production crew. But all that aside, I dont like this movie because it’s local or because it’s good horror done better, I like it because it’s damned good.

All in all well worth waiting twenty eight weeks for, see it at the movies if you can and snag the directors cut on DVD when you get the chance. Good stuff.

Well, being as I’ve now had my PSP for over a week I thought it was about time to post a few fuzzy pictures of it and write a loose, badly worded, comedic piece called a ‘review’.
Being as nobody reads this site it’s a futile gesture, but in order to attract even crows, you have to have breadcrumbs. So here we go.

Design:

By far the better part of the PSP is it’s design. It’s sleek, well made and fairly compact.
It comes in a variety of colours and whilst my loving partner managed to avoid the temptation of buying me a pink one, mine’s black. For anybody that’s had a fiddle with a GBA SP, or a DS this one will feel a little ‘wider’ in your hands. Not original X-Box pad wide, but wider than others.

 
The controls are firm and don’t fly around too much, the mini-thumbstick is well designed and doesn’t stick out enough for the thing to get broken off.
The L and R shoulder buttons again are unintrusive but they do wiggle back and forth a bit, not too much but there’s more play there than there needs to be.

Everything else is normal for handhelds, it doesn’t boast the DS touch screen or the compact dimensions and ‘cute’ factor of the SP but it does have the biggest screen of all three. And for purists I’m not adding the two DS viewing areas as one, they are separate screens and used predominantly for that purpose.

Although not technically a ‘design’ feature the battery life and backlighting are good. I’ve had no trouble seeing the screen in dark environs (Not so for the early GBA’s) but it does reflect a lot of light. Watching the screen in broad daylight can be difficult, and when you figure that portability is about being outside then that may be a drawback. But if you’re sensible and don’t try to sit on the beach below a blazing solar ball of hydrogen you’re usually ok.

The battery life is exemplary for something of it’s capacity, variety and size. From listening to MP3’s with visualisations, to full length movies and also games, all of which include accessing the memory stick, it’s really quite formidable. Sony have obviously tapped into their experience in digicams and phones to make the most of battery life in a hand held device, roughly once every three or four days of average use I have to charge the battery, so I’m happy. The annoying thing is of course the AC adaptor is Sony patented so I’m guessing a new one would cost me an arm and a leg, but that’s what I expect with a product of this quality.

Next on the design front would be the UMD disk tray at the rear of the console:

Ive taken a shot here of the open innards of the PSP so you can see what’s exposed when you load a game disk or UMD movie. To be honest this is my only gripe with the PSP’s design. The opening tray at the back accompanied as it is by PS2 style springs and a loading draw for a disk, whch obviously includes a reader head and a spinning axle make me uneasy. They are firm and well put together, dont spring, click or creak in any hideous way but there is that feeling that if anything goes wrong on consoles it’s moving parts.

I’m not sure why Sony opted for a proprietary disk format in UMD, being as catridges can offer as much data storage etc. I suppose it allowed the film industry a similar enough tech to DVD to burn UMD movies. What annoys me is that catridges are just plain, simpler, easier, smaller, less likely to bust etc. That said I’ve not yet (touch wood) had any problems with either the loading tray or any disks. It doesn’t make a lot of noise nor does it hiss or click when loading (Pretty impressive when you consider it’s being held upright) and I’ve had no misreads either. For the sake of journalistic integrity I even threw it around a bit whilst it was trying to load. The jitter correction and read speed must be pretty good because it didn’t fault. That said I wouldn’t make a habit of shaking it while its loading. The only other downside would be the PSP’s size, it isnt annoying to hold or carry, weighging in at very little, but if you want to sling it in your pocket and listen to MP3s you’ll be dissapointed. It needs a jacket pocket or aside vent on cargo pants to slip in properly, aditionally if you don’t have a case you’ll be worried about scratching the large screen when walking. A problem not encountered on folding GBA SP’s or DS’s.

Interface:

One of the strengths of Sonys platforms is that they usually have a nice interface. The general rule of thumb is don’t add more stuff than the user needs to do or know. With the DS and similar compteting systems it’s hard to not follow this rule. They basically play games and that’s about it.
The PSP is a slightly different story.
The initial menu depdns on your firmware but it’s a beautiful and relaxing thing of pulsating gentle colours and an intuitive side scrolling list of options, here for your viewing pleasure is a fuzzy example:

The PSP boats multiple features aside from games, including movies, music, internet browsing and screen show menus. This plethora of features has been well dealt with and is always accessable even without media present (A feature admired by admins) but also occasionaly auto-runs for basic tasks (You put a game in and it runs, a favourite for dumb asses).
Simplicity is nice and each overall menu drops down into several sub menus you navigate via moving the highlight up and down. It feels a bit like Vista without the perspective but is pretty to look at whilst being functional. Downsides of the interface are that with every firmware upgrade the PSP goes through (Similar to DirectX these come with many games for play) are hard to reverse and often add more icons in the context menus. I’m a fan of more functionality and greater power to the user but I hope Sony are careful in the number of features they introduce in this way, sometimes it can be an ass to have lots of icons I dont need. The interface is designed so I dont initially see the things I dont want but they do get in the way when Im doing other functions in the same menu.
That said the PSP is about media and games which means, aside from linking it to WAN’s and Wi-Fi hunting, I dont spend much time going through menus, which is nice.

Gfx / Sound:
 

This is where the PSP really stands out for me. The sheer quality of the graphics and display, kill the competition. The cute but unerpowered graphics offered by nintendo (That sentence could describe all their consoles, let alone handhelds) are dwarfed by the more mature, contrasted and richer display of the PSP. Not only is the screen bigger but Sony do more with the space. I feel more like I’m using a decent multimedia device than a souped up mobile phone which has mario.
The visuals are rich and organic, obviously way below the PC’s capabilites and those of the PS3 or even more sophisticated PS2 titles but still very capable. I’d put the graphics as PS 1.75 or PS2 on occasion. There are decent particle effects, good polygon count and the machine seems able to display different framerates via movies etc with no problem, no dead pixels or late transition of colour. The only downside is that I’ve occasionally noticed a ‘red bleed’ on some movies. I think this is down to encoding however as I’ve not seen any such problems in the games or on other titles. There’s no blurring either and overall the screen is really top quality.

When I first tried my PSP on a train during a commute I was wearing £3 aeroplane earphones which gave me pause. I was trying hard to watch an episode of the Simpsons but the sound was drowned out by the train. I then tried a game and wacked the sound up to full and found the same problem. At this point I was annoyed, the max volume without headphones isnt bad but it drains the battery more and annoys other commuters.
I decided to give the PSP a fair go and borrowed by partners cheap but effective, Sennheiser, noise cancellation, in-ear phones.

Revolution.

The sound is crisp and clear, no hitches, or stutters. There are no pops, clicks or even over bearing sounds as the machine transitions from one effect to the next. The MP3 playback is exemplarary too. There’s no digital noise in the background or sound of processing or interference messing with your signal (A bane on my cheap mp3 player) and there’s even no pause between songs in MP3 mode with the player buffering the next up before moving on a file, avoiding loading.
With a decent pair of noise cancellation phones this baby really immerses you, the screen passes the big enough to be engrossed in’ test too. I’ve sat watching a film with my earphones on whilst angry train guards literally wave ticket inspection mahcines in my face. Gone to the world.
To give you an idea what benfit you get from the audio with an average pair of in-ear phones, I can sit on a tube going full speed through a tunnel with the carriage windows down so air is rushing through and the sound of the train crashing along the tracks is reflected back into the carriage, with the PSP on 75% volume and not notice a thing. For someone with tinitus that’s a good thing.

Although not technicaly an audio feature I would say that the PSP’s ability to have several cool equilisers to watch whilst playing MP3s is nice too, they react well to the sound and are co-ordinated and synched properly, no random ‘why did that happen? moments, which I’ve had with Winamp.

Games:

I can’t try to come across as too much of an expert here, being as I’ve only played one title. What I would say is this. But that in itslf is ok, because if you like strategy games and Im reviewing the PSP base don my love of sports titles you’d get just as little from it.
What I will say is that the initial catalogue for the PSP was small and Gonz had repeatedly told me he didn’t know of one ‘must have’ game that sold the PSP. Well the library is much larger now and better games are coming along all the time, for me the question of a ‘must have title is more reserved for consoles. In a handheld I want titles I can pick up and play, that look a lot like if not exactly the same as their console equivalents.
I’m also a big fan of retro games. Therefore when Midway, Namco and Capcom all released their ‘best of’ series on PSP I wet my pants. I can now play the Arcade version of SF2 and all the old megadrive classics at their intended graphics and speed on my PSP. Here’s another bonus of the PSP over the other traditional handhelds. Im an adult gamer, thats why Im always drawn to Sony or Microsoft in consoles rather than Nintendo. The array of titles available for PSP includes plenty of platform and puzzle games but its also got lots of arcade classics, converted truly (All death moves, blood etc) I like that. If I want cutesy, save the world and stroke puppies Ill play a DS. If I want harder, darker and more involving games that dont shy away from blood, sex and gore because they have to I’ll play the PSP.

Hackability:

This is a key feature of any handheld or console for me. As a PC person from the outset, I’ve always needed connectivity, functionality and best of all the ability to play with the hardware a bit. Being a Sony product I was very wary about the PSP’s abilities in this field.
What with Sony installing spyware with their albums and mp3’s, making firmware checks on games and other drives and owning half the music and film industry I didnt expect much by way of adaptability.

Thankfully I was wrong.

The PSP comes with a handy USB port at the top which connects to your PC. No doubt the later versions wof the firmware will require software on the PC but this one doesnt. Plug your PSP in, have a memory stick inserted and your PC just treats it like a large removable drive. Make sure to format the memory stick on the PSP and itll helpfully show all the root folders etc. What this allows you to do is load up movies and other titles tot he PSP after you’ve converted them into the right format and put them in the right place.
With a little mucking about you can get full length movies onto your PSP and all the MP3’s you want. You can also put in save games and other such fun items to unlock bonuses and endings on games you may have purhased.
The games piracy tech is a little more sophisticated than that, and I havn’t seen a sucesfull crack of it with the latest PSP firmware. But to be honest that’s fine by me. I dont mind paying for the games in the least, I just want to be able to use the media functionality the way I want to. If I want to back up my DVDs as DivX and then play them on the move, I expect Sony to let me do that. And whilst they dont help it isnt too difficult to do either. 

Conclusion:

In summary I’d say this was the best handheld out there for a guy like me. I like the multimedia functionality, I like the game I’ve played, the audio and graphics destroy the competition (I’m not counting rare Japanese handhelds here) and its all presented in a neat, slick package. Sure the downsides of moving parts, size and a proprietrary game format aren’t negligble but being as PSP’s are now sub £100, the library has expanded and many are availalbe in deals with 2 or 3 titles I’m a fan.

For those of you who are worried, dont be concerned, I still hate Sony, but theyre winning me back a PSP at a time…